Wednesday Blog Post: Time to get back to the grind

So, I know I didn't post last week. I'm contemplating reorganizing the structure of the blog, perhaps relaunching it as of the first of the new year. When I figure out what changes, if any, will be best, I'll let you know.

I decided to spend today working solely on my writing - at least for the afternoon. I went to the Portland Public Library and got a few books, including one on writing. For undergoing renovations, they did have a selection of writing books to choose from - I didn't expect any at all, so that was a welcome surprise.

I then got a chai at Bard Coffee in town and sat for a while, sketching out potential article ideas. While I'm pretty sure a daily reporting job isn't for me, I do like writing feature articles on topics I'm interested in. The ideas I have do require a bit of research, yes, but I'm hoping it'll be worth it in the end. At this rate, if it's getting words flowing, even with how few of them end up on the page, who am I to turn that inspiration away?

Someday I'm going to get my writing life back on track, no matter what method it takes to do so.

Wednesday Blog Post: Falling Behind

I haven't written in what feels like weeks. I don't want to count the days, because then I'll just feel worse, knowing that I let something I love fall so low on my list of priorities.

It's not that I don't want to, not really. I'm still working on reading all of my writing material - currently, an issue of The Writer and You Can Write a Novel by James V. Smith Jr. I've all but given up on my writing practice, which is sad, because I was doing so well with it previously. I understand the need to adjust to living in a new place and the resulting changes in routine - I no longer have to drive so far to work each day, which is awesome, but it's leaving me with more time to sleep in and procrastinate. But there's a part of me that feels like I need to get pen to paper soon, or I'm not going to be able to keep up with anything.

Hence my decision to postpone NaNoWriMo for another year. I'd like to think I could tackle it, but I'd rather save the energy for a real try at it than force myself to do it and get pissed off when I fail to reach 50,000 words. I don't even know what my next novel subject would be yet, and that's not good for starting any major project.

I am, however, rereading some of my old writing practice snippets, especially the Imperial Story clips. Some of the lines are actually really good, and I'd forgotten all about them. Maybe, just maybe, this will inspire me to get my ass back in the chair and back to work.

Wednesday Blog Post: Procrastination Week

I haven't done my writing practice today. Again. I feel like such a fool for admitting that out loud, but it's true. Today was hard, because of the way my schedule fell - I closed last night, opened this morning, came home to find my couch and a long nap while watching Food Network.

Tomorrow, I promise, back to the notebook. I've always been the type to push myself beyond my limits, and I know I have too much on my plate at the moment. Time to slow down, take a deep breath, and let my creative energies recharge for the night, like the nap did for my body. (Naps, in case you were wondering, are one of the best things in the world. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.)

As a warning, I may not get to Friday's writing response until sometime late Friday night or on Saturday. Friday is the day of the big move, including dismantling my computer. The new place has wireless and I'm sure I'll be up and running in no time, but I figured I would give anyone waiting a notice in advance.

On a side note, this doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about writing. A new character popped into my head while at work yesterday, just based on the name on a customer's credit card - Tessa. Not sure where I'm going to use her yet, or how long it will take to flesh out her background, but the idea definitely got rolling in my head. And between drinks, character ideas are always welcome.

Getting a chance to write everything I come up with down in time, however, is a bigger challenge, one I'm sure every writer faces. I've taken to jotting quick notes on my hand between customers. The ink stays on my hands for a day or two, and if I can't transcribe my thoughts before then, tough cookies.

Wednesday Blog Post: Random Inspiration

Sometimes, when you're doing anything else besides writing, inspiration walks up and smacks you in the face. I've read the testimonies of other writers, who talked about solving plot issues while going out for a walk, doing laundry, playing with their dog, you name it.

Me? I was listening to music. Procrastinating writing, because I didn't want to sit down at my desk yet.

I've been toying with the idea of a short story collection, filled with fictionalized stories about each of my exes. I'm at the point where I'm brainstorming ideas, figuring out what would work, what won't, and the like. And today, I'm bouncing around my room listening to "Down and Out" by The Academy Is... and "Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today" by Fall Out Boy when it hits me: the title of my collection.

Never Burned My Bridges.

I like this because it implies a few things. One, that I'm the type who doesn't let anything go, which I am. Two, that at least some of the people I'd be basing characters on are ones I would like to talk to again, but have "burned the bridge" and want nothing to do with me. I like the image of saying you've walked away, that it doesn't matter and you can't go back, but in reality, you're still standing there on the other side of the bridge, hoping to cross it.

Considering that I'm usually crap with titles, I'm excited to find one that might work. Now I just have to get up and actually work on the project. We'll see when - if - my ideas come together.

Wednesday Blog Post: Songs and Writing

I'm a firm believer that every story has a soundtrack. Not in the sense of movie scores, exactly, but that certain songs remind me of certain pieces of a story and, whenever I hear them, it always gets me in the mood to write.

Take today, for example. I was driving to the bank when Howie Day's "She Says" came on my iPod. The original acoustic version from Australia, not the revamped one that appears on Stop All The World Now (both are great, but I favor the acoustic more). I wrote most of And You Tell Me I Am Home to Howie Day's albums, because it seemed to fit the mood I was going for. And the lyrics to "She Says" fit Zeke to a T:

And when she said she wants somebody else
I hope you know that she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down and makes a sound
You'll never hear her the way that I do
And when she says she wants someone to love
I hope you know that she doesn't mean you
And when she breaks down and lets you down
I hope you know that she doesn't mean to

He's the guy Emma's always wanted, back in the picture for good. It's like he's giving the finger to Jay, so to speak, saying that he knows her better than Jay does.

As a matter of fact, I think this is a feeling that needs to be addressed more fully in the novel. I wanted it to be, but in retrospect, I don't feel that it was. A note for the revision, to be sure.

I could write for days about the impact music has on my writing. The little snippet today was enough to remind me that, hey, inspiration triggers everywhere, even when you're driving to the bank. Whether or not you take the time to listen to it is up to you.

Wednesday Blog Post: Computer Programs

Stopping into Apple to see my boyfriend last night, I once again found myself looking over their giant wall of computer programs for sale. They have one called the Writer's Dream Kit, and I was very excited to learn that it also works on a Windows computer.

I almost bought it on sight, but I stopped myself, for two reasons. One was the price - I'm not made of money, so $60 on an impulse buy is a lot for me. The second reason was that I wasn't sure if it would be helpful for my writing.

I know myself: I can easily get caught up in the planning process. I bought a huge pack of fine-tip Sharpie markers so I could work on the massive scene-by-scene outline for And You Tell Me I Am Home. I forced myself to stop plotting once I got to the big fight between Emma and Zeke, so I could still have some surprises when I got to the ending. It's so easy to get lost in character profiles and outlines and plot arcs that you don't get to the actual writing. That's exactly what I don't want to happen.

Still, I wonder how the program works. Does anyone use it, or something similar? This may require some Internet research. I think I'll probably break down and buy it anyway, just like how I buy more writing books when I haven't finished the ones I've started. If it helps with the writing, great! If not, we'll try something knew. Maybe a new program is just what I need.

Wednesday Blog Post: Reinventing Characters

Have you ever written the same character for two different stories? I have a few I've been playing with for a few years; I consider them my favorites. Every time I try to write something new for them, I find myself constantly going back to their original storyline, trying to fit the pieces together and figure out where to go next.

Instead of rewriting everything, I take the same personality and tweak it based on reactions to the new backstory. For example, I have a character named Zach, who can be cocky and standoffish, but is a good guy deep down. He's gone through a few different versions:

Version 1: Mom dies in childbirth.
Result: Zach is cocky, trying to impress his father in an attempt to prove his worth. As a result, he doesn't have that great of a relationship with his father.

Version 2: Mom dies in childbirth; Dad dies in a fire.
Result: Poor, poor Zach. His original personality falls by the wayside and he turns to alcohol and depression to get to the next day. Eventually he figures out how to put his life back together.

Version 3: Everyone lives! (I'll admit, I felt bad for him after Version 2.)
Result: Cocky, competitive - but very protective of his family. This is probably my favorite version.

I like creating backstories, reasons for why these people do what they do. I think it's the reason why my novel currently feels flat; I haven't given these characters enough motivation. Perhaps that will be my goal in the next few weeks; even if I never use the info, it still won't be time wasted.

Perhaps this is another writing prompt waiting to happen.

Wednesday Blog Post: "Real Life" and Writing

Wrting has always been a pasttime I have considered "fun." I don't need to get paid to do what I do, though it would be nice; I write because I have all these ideas in my head and it's what I like to do.

This week, though, it's been hard. Though I'm still doing my writing practice every day, it doesn't seem like I'm getting anything productive out of it. No flashes of insight, no moments of, "I have to keep writing." I put words down on the page for 20 minutes and then I close the notebook, get up and do something else. It's become a chore, and I'm really sad to say that.

I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, and I'm sure that's contributing to the current lack of inspiration I feel. I can't quite call it writer's block, since the ideas are there, it's that I'm unwilling to work on them. I've spent the last couple of months working on bits and pieces of the Imperial Story; maybe it's time to try something new for a while. At this rate, it couldn't hurt, and Andros and Anitra will still be there when I get back to them.

I think my biggest fear is that the drive, the inspiration won't come back. But I haven't given up, not by a long shot. I'll just spend every day in front of my notebook, even if it's only for 20 minutes, and see what words pour out of me.

Wednesday Blog Post: In and Outs of Sci-Fi Writing

In preparation for NaNoWriMo in a couple months, where I may be tackling the first draft of the first part of the Imperial Story, I've started reading How to Write Science Fiction & Fantasy by Orson Scott Card. While I have a ton of writing books, this is the only one I've found that was genre-specific and written by an author I've actually heard of. I'd like to say I've read every book in existence, but that's not the case.

Card brings up an interesting point, in the beginning of the book. Science fiction writers, he says, are always going to be science fiction writers, pegged by the industry as it were. While there's lots of freedom to work within the genre, if an author writes, say, a nonfiction book, it's not placed with his other sci-fi works and it makes it much easier for readers not to find the latest work and therefore, not sell as well.

This is a thought that hadn't occurred to me. The Imperial Story is my first attempt at actually writing sci-fi, though I've been reading it for years, since I was a kid. My attempts at scenes in writing practice have been somewhat successful, but I've mainly been concentrating on getting the characters down and figuring out what voice to use to tell the story; the details of the world have a long way to go. I'm not sure everything makes sense on the page as well as it does in my head. But that's what drafting and practice is for; nothing's set in stone, not by a long shot.

But is this a genre I want to stick with for my entire career? If it ends up being of publishable quality, it'll be something to think about. And I'll have to keep it mind as I write, to make this the best work I can. Either way, I see it as a challenge, and I don't want to back down from it.

We'll see how I feel once the drafting process is complete, and how successful I feel the story is. And if it makes sense to anyone else, readers who haven't been listening to me babble on and on for months now.

Wednesday Blog Post: Preparing for NaNoWriMo... Maybe

Every year, I say I'm going to do NaNoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month. The idea is that, during the month of November, you write a 50,000 word novel from start to finish. The goal is both daunting and entirely doable at the same time. It breaks down to roughly 1,600 words a day, which isn't a hard goal to reach. I did a modified version of NaNoWriMo to finish And You Tell Me I Am Home, and while I didn't write 50,000 words, I did keep up the pace until I was finished. It took me a month and a half, but I finally - finally! - had a draft finished.

Thing is, NaNoWriMo is always in November, which is a hard month for me. Not only because of the holiday and family obligations everyone has, but because I work in a mall and everything goes insane from Black Friday on. The last thing I want to face after a long day of angry Christmas shoppers (don't kid yourself, you are all angry) is a blank computer screen and a 1,600 word deadline.

Right now I'm thinking of ways I could make this manageable. Reorganzing my writing to routine to accomodate the beast, and then I could return to regularly scheduled programming once November ends. These are my ideas so far:

1) Writing practice. Instead of writing about a random prompt for 20 minutes, that time could be spent working on the novel. This way I'm assuring that for at least 20 minutes every day, something gets written.
2) Modify this blog. If I shift down to a post a week and maybe an excerpt if the writing goes well, I can turn that time into writing. I would then return to the regular posting schedule at the end of the month.

When all is said and done, it's not a difficult schedule to keep. It's just a lot of pressure for those 30 days, trying to get everything done in time. Who knows if I'll even be able to finish? At some point I feel I need to make the attempt.

And I still have two months to plan for the beast.

Wednesday Blog Post: New Notebooks

I'll be the first to admit, I'm a creature of habit. I buy new things all the time - pens, journals, CDs, you name it - and I still go back to what I know works. I'm not sure if it's a comfort thing or what, but when I try something new, I freak out a little.

I'm doing this with notebooks, too.

In the last week and a half or so, I've changed two of my everyday notebooks: my kickaround notebook, which I discussed in last week's post, as well as my writing practice journal. Filling two notebooks within such a short span of each other is thrilling, no doubt. As is writing on the first blank page of a new journal - so full of promise and wonder and all that jazz people talk about but you never really believe until it actually happens.

My new kickaround notebook is a hardcover journal, with grid lines instead of lined paper. I'm adjusting to the grids better than I thought; it's helping me make sure my left margin stays in a straight line. What's bugging me is that I can't fold the cover back, like I could with my last notebook, which had a spiral for the spine. I'm used to folding it up and propping it up wherever I can to write, especially at work where there really isn't such thing as "desk space." I'm finding myself clearing away people's drinks just so I can get some room to set the journal down. I've had a few days, but it's still weird to me.

For the writing practice notebook, it's a big hardcover notebook from Borders, one of the basic black ones that's perpetually on clearance though they've had tons of them for years and years and years. This is the first time I've found something to even consider using that notebook for, so that's good. It's just - plain, for my tastes. I'm not sure how the spine is going to hold up when I'm filling page after page.

Maybe it's just me, being resistant to change. I don't want to let the slightest little thing ruin my writing experience, because I'm sure those thoughts are all in my head. We'll see how it goes over the course of the next few weeks.

Wednesday Blog Post: Replacing Notebooks

As I write the draft of this blog post, this is the last entry I will be writing in this "kickaround notebook." It's the Paperchase one I covered in stickers from works and I'm sure it's seen better days; I may have to tape the cover back in place to preserve it once I'm finished. It took me a little over a year to finish this one - the first page is dated May 8, 2008.

It's still satisfying to fill a notebook, at least for me. I like being able to riffle throughthe pages and see all the colors (I used a different one every day, pens are my weakness), the half-finished scenes, my notes to myself. This notebook in particular has bits and pieces of my novel, And You Tell Me I Am Home, as well as snippets from the Imperial Story. I'm quite proud to retire this baby, giving it a good home on my shelf.



This means, of course, that I had to pick out a new journal to use as my "kickaround" notebook. Rather than buy a new one, I raided the collection in my cedar chest - at some points, it's better than going to Staples. I found three nice leather bound journals, gifts from various people (my Uncle Joe, my Aunt debbie, and ex-boyfriend Caz). One was a gift from Mrs. Keane, my senior year of high school - the cover is emblazoned with the words, "We are the hero of our own story." These are the journals I want to keep in perfect condition, not let get bounced around when I carry them everywhere. It was good to remember than I had these journals waiting for me, waiting to hold the perfect project.

I ended up choosing a hardcover journal, nothing fancy, but the paper inside is of a good weight and it will hold up to a lot of abuse. This notebook lasted me 15 months; the next one should be able to do the same. I'm excited to write on that very first page, to fill another notebook with my thoughts and words. It's been too long since I've started something new.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way - this elation, this thrill. It's one of my perks to being a writer, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.

Wednesday Blog Post: On Building Characters

Characterization is one of those writing concepts I understand in theory, but have a hard time putting into practice. While I have no trouble coming up with backstory, plot and complications, I struggle with getting that out on paper. Maybe every writer faces the same problem, getting the words down that they hear in their head. I find that I reveal character through dialogue, and the way they interact with each other. I often skate a fine line between dialogue and prose; I don't think I balance the two well.

I didn't realize the impact characterization had on my overall writing until working on revising And You Tell Me I Am Home. One of the initial critiques I received was that the first half moved too slow, and I figured it was due to a lack of tension between the characters. Once Zeke and Emma start fighting, the scenes started to pile up, get interesting, even for me as I wrote them. Once of the conflicts I'm working on developing is between Zeke and Jay, Emma's ex, and I decided to use character sketches to help.

Jay, since I modelled him after one of my best friends, was easy to write. Zeke, on the other hand, I really struggled with. Suddenly the traits that seemed good enough when writing the first draft - Zeke likes music, he plays guitar, parents are divorced - were nowhere near as complicated as I needed them to be. He was risking becoming a stereotype, and I couldn't let that happen.

In the next draft of the story, I have some ideas of how to broaden Zeke's (along with the others) characterization. I've considered better conflicts, flashbacks, letting the reader in on more of the backstory behind each of these people. As an author, it's my responsibility to make sure each of these characters become real on the page - the readers, as well as myself, deserve that much. I'm sure it will take me several drafts to get it right, but that's okay. I'm learning. And that's a process any writer should always be a part of.

Wednesday Blog Post: Writing Times

Every writing book I've read has said it - every writer has a certain time of day when writing works best for them. Some like to be up at the crack of dawn, others up until the wee hours of the night. My own writing schedule tends to be sporatic, writing during my breaks at work or between classes when I was in college. Then, I decided I was going to do daily writing practice, 20 minutes a day, every day.

I've been following my writing practice routine for over two months; it's how I've been creating scenes for the Imperial Story, by answering prompts. I work in retail, with open availability, so my schedule varies from week to week. What I've found is that I'm happier and more inclined to show up at the page when I write at the beginning of my day, rather than waiting until after work. I manage this most days, since I work a lot of nights, but opens are brutal. It's hard enough to get myself to work on time, much less factor in writing practice too, which means it usually gets left until the day is done. The excuses not to write come to mind so much easier: I'm tired. I'll do it after dinner. I just want to check my email first.

But, at the end of the day, I still drag myself to the desk, promising myself that it's only 20 minutes and I can shut the notebook the moment timer on my phone goes off. Or that I can have ice cream or a cup of tea once I'm finished. It's straight-up bribery, but it works. I've shown up and done the work, every day, since May 15. And I'm proud of that.

They say you can't schedule creativity, that it just happens. But I do know it doesn't happen if you don't take the time and put in the effort to make something beautiful. For me, that means figuring another 20 minutes into my morning routine, when I'm still energized from coffee, using writing to help start my day.

Wednesday Blog Post: The Index Card Experiment

I'm trying something new, in regards to outlining the Imperial Story. I've been writing bits and pieces of scenes in my daily writing practice, sometimes inspired by that day's prompt, sometimes continuing the scene from the day before, sometimes I can't get them out of my head. Timeline-wise, these scenes run from the very beginning to the beginning of the end. To try and organize what I've already written, I'm writing out each scene on index cards.

Each card has the basic details of the scene: who's in it, where it takes place, what's going on, who's telling the story. I'm finding that, by writing out these skeleton versions, I'm writing a lot about the middle of the story - Andros discovering his identity, the creation of Briyant and Anitra's Underground. I've also written a lot more than I thought I had; I have cards for 20 scenes and I'm not finished going over everything I have on paper. And to my surprise, some of it, down to the individual lines, is work I'm really proud of.

My idea is to lay all these cards out, group them together by events, and see what I have. What scenes have to come first in order for the later ones to make sense? What scenes are missing from what I've already written? What I'm looking to find is the overall arch of the story and start planning it from start to finish. And, seeing how little I've been wanting to write the actual beginning of the story, maybe that means I'm starting in the wrong place. Writing books recommend starting in the thick of things, so perhaps that's advice I'll take.

I don't know if this is a project to tackle in my daily writing practice and then type up later, or if I devote a couple days a week to it. I do know that I need a structure of some kind before I get anywhere. With my last drafted novel, I used a gigantic mind map to plot out scenes, but for some reason, that doesn't seem to be working with this one.

Has anyone used index cards to help with plotting before? If so, what was your experience? Right now, I'm just entralled to get to spend hours rereading what I've written, wincing at the cliches, but finding the gems too. I'm calling this an "experiment" - we'll see if it creates anything special.

Wednesday Blog Post: On Selecting POV

Point of view has always been a hard decision for me. In my creative nonfiction stories, the choice was obvious. First person works best becuase I'm the one telling the story, based on my own experiences, thoughts and feelings. With fiction, I never know if the character I use is the best one for the story.

I've been working on the "Imperial Story" in my daily writing practice, trying out scenes, sticking with the ideas that work and abandoning the ones that don't. For the most part, I've stuck with Andros' (Briyant's) point of view, as he became the dominant character in the story so far. I'm not sure why I chose him, though - keeping his perspective, in first person, makes me aware of how much he doesn't know about what's going on. A large part of the storyline rests on the knowledge that Andros doesn't know who he really is, but the reader has to know something's not right in the Lambazzia family.

This is the part I'm having trouble with: revealing that information in such a way that doesn't come out of nowhere but doesn't give too much away either. I've tried some scenes from Anitra's point of view, but for some reason, I haven't been able to get into her head; the voice still doesn't sound right to me. Maybe this is something I'll try in the first draft, telling the story from Andros' POV, and switch it in revisions if need be. I still feel like there is so much I don't know about this story, about the world I'm trying to create, so I need to be willing to change as I progress through an actual draft.

I'm curious to see how other writers would handle a similar point of view question. How would you decide to tell the story? I've used third person to switch between characters before - And You Tell Me I Am Home switches between Emma and Zeke - but to me, it doesn't have the same sense of urgency, of immediacy, that first person does. In a novel about a rebellion fighting an empire (cue Star Wars music here), I think that tension is needed.

For now, I'll turn back to my writing books for advice, and see where the story ends up going. I won't know until I actually start writing.

Wednesday Blog Post: The Craft of Quoting

One of the hardest journalism classes I ever took - one of my hardest classes period - was Journalism 201 with Professor Harris, Reporting and Writing. While other classes required an essay every once in a while, this was an article a week, 750 words, with revisions due the class after you got your paper back. It was intense - never mind the actual writing and interviewing, but just coming up with story ideas each week stressed me out. On top of tat, Harris assigned us exercises from The Craft of "Quoting," a thin white book he had written and had become an SCSU Journalism Department staple. Even our weekly articles included the patterns, underlined and numbered on the drafts we turned in.

Back then, trying to work the patterns into my articles awas difficult. "I don't want to write like this," I remember thinking. "Who cares if the attribution goes before or after the quote? Who cares if I paraphrase?" Harris cared. And while I'd been baptized in red pen during American Studies, Harris killed pens on our articles. Thank god for rewrites, or else some of us might not have passed.

There was one good thing about having such a regimented schedule of first drafts and rewrites: you're always practicing. And being forced to include quote patterns burns them into your memory. I no longer remember the patterns themselves, but I see them, every time I write dialogue. Writing books often recommend varying your sentence structure to liven up your writing, and I already do that - thanks to JRN 201. I find myself glancing back up every few paragraphs, looking to see how my dialogue is structured and how I should change it up. And I never, ever have two characters - sources - quoted in the same paragraph.

The old adage is true: You never realize how much you've learned until you look back on it, years later. And that is why The Craft of "Quoting" still retains a place on my writing bookshelf.

(If you're interested, Amazon has a listing for the book, though it looks like they're only selling used copies.)

Wednesday Blog Post: This Week's Inspiration

It's no secret that I am a huge Star Wars fan. I've been collecting the books since I was 10 years old; even my till tags at work say "Lord Vader" on them. (No, I'm not making this up.) Say what you want about the prequels and the special editions - I've been in love the world the movies created since I was a little girl.

As I'm feeling under the weather this week, I spent my day off on my couch rewatching A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. For as much as I was watching them for the fun of it, I found myself noticing details about how the story is put together, how these characters are revealed, how George Lucas created the Star Wars universe star by star, planet by planet, ship by ship. Working on a science-fiction based story myself, currently dubbed "the Imperial story," I tried to pay attention to the details I might overlook since I know the plot so well.

What struck me the most while watching was how much of the characterization went unsaid, though I knew what and who everyone and everything was. For example, some of the races are named - Chewbacca is a Wookiee (and he doesn't live on Endor) - but others aren't, like the Biths who play in the band in the Mos Eisley cantina. It's these tiny details that reveal the world this story takes place in, bit by bit, assembled together like the pieces of the Millenium Falcon.

Star Wars also shows reasons to be on the rebellion's side throughout the course of the films - the Empire is shown only as being evil, controlling, not paying much attention to the wishes of the people. Vader Force-chokes those who fail him. Tarkin blows up Alderaan just to show off what the Death Star can do, for crying out loud. This was a major point for me: While I know what I want the rebellion in my story to be about, I know little about the empire they're fighting. Watching the way Star Wars handles its villains, both big and small, started turning the wheels in my mind; I have a few ideas now, whereas I didn't have any before.

While I could watch these movies over and over again, yesterday's viewings struck home just because of what I'm currently working on. Both my story and the original Star Wars trilogy focus on the struggles of freedom fighters, and while I have no desire to copy a classic, I won't lie and say I'm not inspired by it. Yesterday, I banged out a rough draft of a completely scene for the Imperial Story in one sitting, which doesn't always happen for me. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up dedicating the finished novel to George Lucas after all.

Wednesday Blog Post: The Struggle With Memory

Having written the first draft of a creative nonfiction book and a handful of short stories in the genre, I'll be the first to admit, writing the truth is hard. The stories you don't want to remember but you just can't forget are often the ones that need to be written, no matter how hard it is to put the words on paper. My biggest problem I run into is that I think I remember everything perfectly - until I sit down to write.

I noticed this especially while drafting my thesis, American Studies. I had been sharing stories about the AS crew - Derek, Dave, Barton, et. al. - all through college, so of course I knew what the stories were. When I sat down to start outlining and selecting scenes, I realized how much I had forgotten, and how much wasn't applicable to the plot I had in my head. Yes, the sock joke, a line I knew from start to finish, was hilarious, but it was just an anecdote; it didn't represent what and who this class was about. It was the intangible moments in between I was trying to capture.

I did have a few resources to fall back on: the diary I kept that year and a handful of papers and assignments from the class. One of our projects had been to keep a daily journal, so I have consecutive entries for most of November and all of December 2001. I have the entries from Sept. 11th and my reactions, its impact on my classmates and I. I have the 100 word essays Mrs. Sihvonen decorated with red pen and a rewrite stamp, the current event assignments dotted with Mrs. Kowal's opinion.

Some of it made me giggle. Some of it, especially the Sept. 11th entries, make me reflect on everything that tragedy set into motion, how our world changed. And when I read about Tonya, our classmate who died because of a car accident, I remembered. I was back in Mrs. Kowal's room again, Barton's foot tapping and his hands folded against his chin, stone-faced, jaw clenched. Kristin was crying softly and I was dabbing at my eyes with a school tissue; I might as well have scraped my eyes with sandpaper.

Do I remember the exact words said? No; I don't have a tape of the event, and 16-year-old me didn't write it down. But I remember Mrs. Kowal asking us if we wanted to have class, and someone - I'm pretty sure it was Dave - spoke for all of us, saying we wanted to continue. Rereading all the material I kept jogged my memory, brought me back to the people and the feelings I wanted, needed to capture in words. Writing this now still brings it back, every worry and fear and laugh and bit of happines..

The key here is to stay true to who these people are and convey their personalities onto the page. Even if the dialogue isn't exact, it probably won't be, it should still sound like something they would have said. Cross reference what you can and remember, you can always talk to other people who were there. This is one step I didn't take with the first draft of American Studies, though I probably will for the second draft, whenever I decide to start it.

Bicky was the only one who knew I was writing it. "Are you going to use our real names?" he asked. "Because I think that you should."

I did. And I hope that, when the project is complete, it is an accurate reflection of not only my memories, but of the people who made those days mean so much to me.

Wednesday Blog Post: Writing Adventures #1

As promised, to both myself and whoever reads this blog, I went out on Monday to take my first stab at writing in a new place. I ended up at my local Borders because 1) it was nearby and not a Starbucks and 2) I could get a drink at my store before I went over there.

While I got some work done, it wasn't as productive as I hoped. I think this was due to a lot of factors. Don't get me wrong, I love Borders. My checkbook cries every time I drive by it, though I've been better than I originally thought at resisting the urge to stop there every other day. The familiarity of it killed me, even though they moved all the bookshelves around - I was already there, of course I had to work.

My first spot was in the cafe, in one of the big leather chairs. Very comfy, like I could sink down into the seat and never get up again - but it didn't offer anywhere for me to prop up my notebook. Had I been home, I would have kicked off my shoes and curled my legs up, forming a table that way, but as it was, the guys next to me were giving me dirty looks. I was more comfortable at a table; my favorite is this really high, circular table in the middle of the cafe. My feet can't touch the floor, so I propped them up on the chair next to me and I could spread out my things: my cell phone, my notebook, my iPod.

Yes, I brought my iPod into Borders. It's usually in my purse, though I had thought about leaving it in the car for this excursion. I wanted to listen to the sounds of the people around me and draw inspiration from what was going on around me. There were two problems with this: First, there wasn't a whole lot going on Monday nights at Borders, and that the one group of people talking were loud. Add to this the blender from the cafe, which startled me out of a thought, and I thought I wasn't going to get anything done.

The cure? Music. I listened to Mae's The Everglow album, perfect to write to because the lyrics are deep but I don't know them so well, which keeps me from singing along with them. I gave myself a good hour to work and have a decent start to the scene, and hopefully I'll finish it up in the next day or so.

I'm not sure if writing in Borders had an impact on what came out, but I do know it gave me the time to do nothing but write, which I find is half the battle. Next time I'll pick a place that I don't know so well. Bard Coffee in downtown Portland looks like a winner. When I make the trip, I'll be sure to document how successful it goes.